Ryan-San in the Land of the Rising Sun

So I am currently 35,000 feet in the air, somewhere over Alaska, in transit to Tokyo. It has been a good seven hours thus far, putting me smack in the middle of my nonstop 14 hour flight, which is about 8 hours longer than any other flight I’ve ever had the displeasure of taking. Other noticeable differences in the flight thus far: the plane is much bigger than what I’m used to, and for some reason, compared to my flights to Ohio, the plane has a much higher percentage of Asian passengers, (I’m thinking they’re probably mostly Cambodian or Mongolian, but maybe I’m wrong).

My level of comfort has increased slightly now that I’ve made it this far without being blown up, (in case you haven’t heard, authorities prevented a terrorist plot to take over or destroy planes flying internationally out of London today). Back at the airport, they made all passengers consume or discard all liquids before boarding the plane. I didn’t get a chance to read up what the terrorist were planning before I boarded the flight, but based on this new security measure, I’m guessing they were planning on using liquids as part of their attack. Not sure what they were planning exactly, but I have my theories:
1. Drowning: By combining their liquids in a bucket or other similar container, they could subdue flight attendants and the pilots by convincing them to peer into their buckets and then drowning them. Good bye box cutters, hello buckets o’ watery death.
2. Blinding – Terrorists could spit lemon juice or hot sauce or other irritants into the eyes of their victims. Did you ever see those spitting dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? It’s like that, but with terrorists.
3. Distraction – Maybe their plan was to simply use the liquids for diversionary purposes. Perhaps spill liquids on the flight attendants and pilots, causing them to become uncomfortable and go change their clothes. While putting on a fresh pair of pants, WHAM, that’s when the terrorists seize control. There is a lesson here: never change your pants. It could be the last thing you ever do.

Thinking through those scenarios made me realize how deadly bottled water and hair gel can be. It’s a good thing the TSA is there to watch out for me.

Well, enough thinking about all of that nonsense. It’s time to sit back and enjoy the rest of my flight; before I know it, I’ll be in Japan.

If the terrorists and their liquids don’t get me first…